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  • Writer's pictureWill

Best man speech

The best man speech is one of the most highly anticipated of the day, and not only does it need to be funny, it needs to be engaging and that little bit sentimental.

Despite that, it doesn’t have to be super long, so if you’re feeling apprehensive it’s probably a good idea to write a short best man’s speech, keeping it sweet and simple. Who wants to listen to the best man drone on for hours, anyway?!

Short Best Man Speech Structure

Hoping to deliver a blinding short best man’s speech, but not sure what structure to follow? Break your speech into these three sections…

1) Introduce Yourself

If you’re giving a short best man’s speech, you’ve got all the more reason to really start things off in style.

Not everyone in the room will have the pleasure of knowing who you are, so it’s best to start off with a quick introduction, including a mention of how you know the groom. Are you best friends? Did you meet at school or university? Are you brothers? Get that part out of the way.

You could even make a joke about how you don’t like public speaking and you’re going to keep things short in this section of the speech. It’ll stop the other guests from expecting something lengthy.

  • “Good evening, ladies and gentleman. I’m the best man, and I think I got this role by default as Jack doesn’t really have any other friends. I didn’t really want to do it, hence why my speech will be so short, but I thought it might be the only chance I’ll get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by Jack. I didn’t risk turning it down.”

  • “Hi, I’m Tom, and it’s time for me to deliver the speech I scribbled down an hour before the ceremony started.”

  • “Hi, I’m the best man, and I’d like to start by saying what an emotional day today has been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2) Crack Some Jokes

If you’re delivering a short best man’s speech, you can pretty much go straight into cracking some jokes after the introduction.

Being the best man is a green card to make the other guests laugh at the groom’s expense… and let’s be honest, he knows what’s coming. He’s been nervously awaiting your speech all day, wracking his brains to figure out what you could be about to share. Don’t miss this chance to have a bit of fun.

Take a look at a few of our favourite jokes below, or check out our extensive list of the (genuinely) funniest best man jokes around. We promise, they’re not all cringey.

If you can link your joke to the fact that your speech is so short, then even better… just remember not to make jokes at your best friend’s new wife or husband’s expense. That is strictly off limits!

  • “Going by tradition, the best man is supposed to carry out a character assassination, but because I have such immense respect for this man, I’m afraid I just can’t do that. I mean, for me to mention the time he streaked across the high school stage in the school play would be mortifying.”

  • “If you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything. I’m not very good at this whole public speaking thing, so I’ll be keeping it brief anyway. The one thing I would like say is, Joe, how lucky you are. You’ll leave today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. And Jane, you’re lucky too. You’ll leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.”

  • “Mike, my best advice to you would be to remember that marriage is not just an eight letter word. It is an entire sentence… although you’d probably get much less for murder!”

By the time you’ve told a few jokes, you’ll probably be pretty keen to wrap your speech up and sit back down (anyone else suffering from a serious case of dry mouth?).

With that in mind, now is the perfect point to congratulate the happy couple, tell the groom’s new wife or husband how wonderful they look and send them your well wishes for their life together. It’s as easy as that!

  • “I can speak for everyone in this room when I say we all wish you all the happiness you deserve. We are so glad that you have found one another, and this day is a reminder that the best is yet to come. To the happy couple!”

  • “I’ve known John and Katherine for 8 years and I can honestly say they are perfect for one another. They were both fantastic when they met, and now as a team, they will be even better together as they embark on a new adventure as man and wife. John and Katherine, I toast you and wish you both peace, health and happiness.”

  • “Sarah – I know that Dan loves you very much… because he spent a long time writing this speech for me. Congratulations to the both of you!”

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